HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MAMAS!!!!! Despite the weird times of having to stay-at-home as our new normal, I hope you had the most amazing celebration last Sunday and had your well-deserved rest and pampering with your loved ones.
The past weeks have been incredibly trying for us all, and I personally have found myself in a rollercoaster ride with having to adjust to this bizarre reality. The daily juggle of working from home, homeschooling, never-ending chores, and adding to that the anxiety brought about by the pandemic is proving to be overwhelming and stressful. But through this all, I’ve learned a great deal and reflected a few things which I hope to share with you which as we celebrate motherhood during this period.
1. NO ONE HAS IT ALL TOGETHER.
Even that celebrity or influencer mom you follow on Instagram surely has crazy days. This isn’t a perfect mom pageant so don’t beat yourself up if you’ve got dirty dishes on the sink and unfolded laundry on the couch that’s been there for God knows since when!
Focus on little wins and what’s within your control, instead of having to tick off items on your checklist. And even if you feel like you’re a total failure and that you’re messing up so many times, know that all of us have the same struggles. Yes, we have different stories but we’re all in the same boat as you are. And I for one, don’t have it all figured out. I’m pretty sure no mom in the real world does.
2. YOU’RE HIS MOM, NOT HIS TEACHER.
I had to remind myself this over and over again when my son refuses to complete his school activities with me. It isn’t fun for both of us to sit there and do the routine of maths, writing, reading every single day. So, instead I try to focus on spending more time on what he loves to do with me such as playing nerf gun battles (yes he’s a big sucker for that), building lego, soccer, hide & seek, or watching his fave movie. During this time, our kids needs us more as their mothers, not their homeschool teacher. And spending time with them having fun while at home is the best memory we can give to them.
3. LET IT GO.
More screen time, the tantrums, the mess, and anything else that your kid does which drives you nuts, just learn to let it go, mama. There are times when I just surrender and accept that there are things beyond my control. And the moment I do that, I feel less overwhelmed and far less stressed. When it gets too heated up, I instead give both of us some ‘time out’ instead of having to argue it through with a 5-year old.
When it’s getting too stressful inside the house, going outdoors is surely the best welcome distraction. There’s something about being out and getting some fresh air and sunlight which calms me and my little boy. Try it, and notice how instantly the stress and worry just goes away.
4. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MORE.
Self-care may sound overrated, but during these days, it’s even more necessary to look after ourselves and fill our ‘cup’. Even if it’s just making yourself your fave latté while having some quiet time before the kids wake up, or bingeing on a Netflix series or K-drama once the little one is asleep, then go ahead and indulge yourself.
Take time to also look after your mental health and your spiritual health thru meditation (if that’s your thing), reading devotional books, or simply having a quiet walk on your own. Recently, I’ve also started to wake up much earlier and tried Robin Sharma’s “5AM Club” which is the habit of waking up before sunrise. I’m only in Day 4 and it’s been doing wonders for my mind, and productivity as well. Between 5am to 7am is the time when the rest of the world (and yes, my house) is still asleep, so it’s when you can be with yourself the most, without distractions, and focus on what you want to focus on, whether it’s personal development (reading), physical activity (e.g yoga),, or some much needed work to be finished (like proof-reading my 80-page new recipe e-book!).
5. REWARD YOURSELF.
It’s easy for us to forget about ourselves and focus on pouring all our love, time and attention to our kids. So more than anyone, you deserve all the praise and reward for being the best mom you can ever be.
Reward yourself with whatever makes you feel good. It could be that kitchen tool you’ve always wanted, or that yoga mat to help you calm down during the day, or even that floral top you’ve been eyeing on E-bay for awhile now. Yes, time for yourself is a reward. But sometimes, having a material thing is a visual reminder as well of the hard work and sacrifices you’ve been putting out there. Bonus points if it’s your partner or your kids who actually gift you without you telling them even if it’s not Mother’s day.
Motherhood is the most beautiful thing, yet the hardest thing in the world. 5 years of mommying and I still don’t have the answers. I pretty much wing it every single day! AND THAT IS OKAY.@FitFoodieMommy
6. BE KINDER TO YOURSELF.
Less judgment, more self-compassion. And please stop comparing yourself with that mom from school who seems to portray the perfect mom on social media. You do YOU. And your decisions are the best for your little ones, whether or not you don’t see it that way.
If you yelled at your kids this morning, that doesn’t make you a bad mom. If you missed your kid’s online class because you totally forgot, that doesn’t make you a bad mom. If you had to order take-out food for the last 3 straight days, that doesn’t make you a bad mom. If you let your kids watch more TV, that doesn’t make you a bad mom. You are an awesome mom. And your kids don’t need a perfect one. Just a happy one.
7. ASK FOR HELP.
Whether it’s your partner, your parents, or your mom friends, don’t try to figure it out just by yourself. Your partners are not mind readers, so if you are having a hard time homeschooling, then ask for help. I had to ask my husband to take over on numerous occasions and it’s been a relief for both me and my little boy. I find that he also enjoys it more when his dad also spends time with him with his school stuff. Don’t be timid in asking. Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. In fact, it shows a lot of courage. And unless you ask, you’ll never get the help you need.
Motherhood is the most beautiful thing, yet the hardest thing in the world. 5 years of mommying and I still don’t have the answers. I pretty much wing it every single day! AND THAT IS OKAY. There’s no amount of self-help books or unsolicited advice that can prepare us or arm us with what’s ahead of us. Every day is such an adventure and a journey of self-discovery.
I would also love to know your biggest lessons as a mom throughout this home isolation. What have you learned the most during this pandemic outbreak? What has it revealed about yourself especially being a mom? Share these lessons below and together let’s go through this challenging times with an open heart and mind.
Sending you lots of love and light! Stay strong, mama.